Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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