I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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