therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
