I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
