Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i came on her dog
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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