what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
