As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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