i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I want is dick and wine.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
