Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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