Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
