i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
