i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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