You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
