i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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