You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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