My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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