I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
