you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
