We're facebook friends in real life
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
