I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
