Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
