She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
