Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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