he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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