Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
