so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
