There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
