just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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