I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize