We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
