Where did you get a picture of my penis
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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