yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
