I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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