I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
pray to the hookup gods
I deserve this hangover.
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