There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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