google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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