Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
