for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
