Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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