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• (206): View more from Washington

  genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer

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• (646): View more from New York

  it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Really* awful people.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?

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• (518): View more from New York

  Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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• (323): View more from California

  The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.

  (323): View more from California

  Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?

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