The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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