Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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