white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
