he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
