Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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