so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
