You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
