I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
