you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
