Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
