yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dignity is for republicans.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
