They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
