Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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