Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
