well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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